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WWF
RAW By Mike Stanton
WWE ID
Tribute to the passing of Davey Boy Smith. Dying before
your 40 is horrid.
WWE RAW
RVD comes to the ring and gets beaten to death by UT...UT
hits the ring and cuts the 'demands respect' promo, takes
credit for beating Hogan for the belt...Ross lets us know
he cheated, that RAT FINK SNITCH...So then RVD gets up,
and Taker punks him out some more...Taker keeps talking,
RVD gets back in the ring again, and UT promises him he
deserves this beating...Instead RVD shitkicks UT and hits
the 5 Star Frog Splash...UT bails while refs hold back
RVD.
Taker gets booked Vs RVD by Flair, and Flair promises us
a curveball for Austin...I'd try to put it in the dirt,
don't leave anything in the zone with Austin, if you walk
him, that's fine also.
HARDY BOYZ VS SHOW/X-PAC
The Human Props in the Booker T/Goldust/nWo passion play
are the Hardy Boyz, who get offense when they fight X-Pac
and get squished by Show...Show screws up and sells
crotching himself, his first sell of the match, and then
Booker accidently ax kicks him, and then ElvisDust runs
in and makes the ref miss X-Pac's pin on Jeff...Jeff then
pins X-Pac...Huzzah...
Paul Heyman declares he wants to bang Trish...Trish slaps
him...And then prepares to be put in a Body Bag by Brock.
The nWo and Goldust bitch each other out...Booker then
books himself/Goldust Vs the Hardyz TONIGHT, if I were
Matt or Jeff I'd fight this as unfair booking. And since
when did the nWo have power to book matches?
TRISH VS JACKIE
Jackie legsweeps Trish when Trish goes for her KICK OF
DEATH, but the color team doesn't explain to the unwashed
masses that Jackie has scouted Trish and knows counters
to her moves. Trish gets the clean win with a move I did
not see because the Sox were busy winning game #30 of the
year (Love that Dirty Water!) And then they handshake.
After the match Heyman and Brock come out, Brock gets
ready to murder Trish when Bubba Dudley comes out to
protect Trish and to be the next jobber to Brock...But
Heyman calls off Brock, telling him to think about the
money, because making the public WAIT for the Epic
Bubba/Brock match will jack ratings and buy-rates THROUGH
THE ROOF!!! Brock shoulda told Heyman "We're
mid-card, we're not worth shit" and pushed him aside
and then turned Bubba into mush...Alas he didn't.
Dreamer does disgusting things because he's just a
disgusting guy...When the WWE came up with this gimmick I
bet they were horrified at the idea that they would be
crushed under endless seas of money, that they would be
pleading with the WWE fans "QUIT GIVING US MONEY!!!
WE CAN'T FIND ANYWHERE TO PUT IT ALL! ALL THE BANKS ARE
FULL!" Or maybe they figured it would suck.
RVD vows DEATH to Undertaker.
WWE EURO TITLE MATCH STEVEN REGAL W/Molly VS BUBBA DUDLEY
Regal and Bubba plod about while the color team talk
about Molly Holly and if she's gotten any or no...After a
while Bubba gets some offense and tells himself to get
the table...But gets sneak attacked and punked by Brock
instead...And just to prove it wasn't a lone gunman, but
rather a VAST CONSPIRACY...Regal delievers the FATAL
HEADSHOT with knucks to the skull...For the 3 people
reading this that never read me before, Kennedy
Assassination references will be commonplace, nay,
endless in my recappery...
Flair out, he waves off last night's loss because he
wasn't the legal man...Yay Dusty Booking...He calls out
Austin. Austin comes out...Flair says he's not gonna let
Austin wrestle anymore on RAW...AND THE RATINGS
SKYROCKET! Austin stunners both Flair and Anderson and
pours beer on Flair...
Raven wonders out to do color for the next match. AND we
get Booker's dealings with the rat from the PPV...HUZZAH!
HARDYZ VS GOLDUST/BOOKER
X-Pac kicks Goldust in the head and a Hardy Pins him...A
6 star classic! After the match the nWo falls apart...But
then Nash comes out and sends Goldust packing and then
solidifies the nWo as Nash/Show/X-Pac/Booker...Huzzah.
Austin gets drunk at a bar...
Raven hits the ring and calls out Lawler for a match, in
Memphis...If this were Vegas you would have to wager
1,000,000,000,000 dollars to on Lawler to win
1,000,000,000,000.01...But hey, if you had the money,
free penny...
RAVEN VS LAWLER
Standard old school match with Bodyslams, the King
busting out a dropkick, and all that standard stuff...In
the end Raven leaves the ring after he's taken to much of
a beating from Lawler, and Lawler wins Via count out,
this must be the start of an epic feud...Vegas wins
zillions on those who bet "Lawler by Pinfall."
Austin at the Bar decides to sing a song, and Eddy hits
him with a beer bottle after they have a chat...RAW IS
ELEVATION!!
WWE WORLD TITLE MATCH UNDERTAKER VS RVD
RVD with quick offense to start, kick to the head and all
that jazz...Ruckus and more ruckus to UT, who finally
slows the match down to the crawl he enjoys more after a
clothesline...RVD rallies but gets cut down by a kick to
the head, UT removes the top turnbuckle pad from one of
the corners...RVD mugged in that corner, but counters the
chokeslam with a kick to the head of his own. UT then
gets whipped into the padless corner and sells his spine
breaking in two...Rolling Thunder, ref counts 3 but
Taker's foot is on the ropes...Ross sells like it was the
upset of the century...Which it ISN'T cause this is SO
gonna get over turned...Yup, flag on the play...McGinnest
was holding Faulk...BULLSHIT...We had the Rams beat
DAMMIT...UT with the Last Ride...And he's declared the
"NEW" WWE World Champion...So RVD was champ for
a minute? I guess that's elevation for you...Ric Flair
leaves the ring with his hair all messed up and looking
kinda like a blonde Mark Cuban...
FINAL REVIEW
Ross sold RVD's win like it was a real big deal, and the
fans bought it, they shoulda done it...Call it hot
shotting, bitch all you want, but RVD stunning the World
to win the WWE Title woulda been something to light a
fire under this company's ass that has been lacking for a
good long time...Instead we got RVD jobbing to UT and
Eddy getting ready to job to Austin...Yay...
--Mike Stanton
I was upset about this...There should have been more...
StantonMJS@aol.com
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